Overheard recently at Stupid Investments R Us. "Hello Mr. C, how's your boss and the whole legacy thing going Upset any major trading partners lately And how about that megadoggle gun registry No time for chit chat, sorry about that. I see you're itching to blow a couple hundred million dollars or so in a pointless venture.

"Sorry I don't have any Bre-X stock for you but take a look at this firm. It's in a troubled, global industry. It has a business model that makes no sense. It carries $12.9 billion in debt, has no assets to really speak of, is losing $2 million a day, has a plummeting stock value rivaling a pez dispenser, is plagued with labour issues and is due to post another quarterly loss.

"You're in for a couple hundred million! Really Sure you don't want some Super 7 tickets or Florida swampland instead What's that It's not your money. Oh, it came from taxpayers, well then what do you care Sign on the dotted line." Mr. C left his broker and the laughter emanating from the office was deafening and somebody quoted P.T. Barnum and something about suckers being born every minute.

If federal Transport Minister David Collenette decides to take an equity position or offer up any other form of direct government (read: taxpayer) assistance for struggling Air Canada, this imaginary scenario could indeed become prophetic.

In Question Period in the House of Commons, Mr. Collenette has all but stated he favours a bailout of Air Canada. In so doing, he has reinforced his well deserved moniker as the undertaker for Canada's domestic aviation industry. Indeed, since his appointment as Transport Minister on June 11, 1997, Mr. Collenette has lurched from one policy blunder to another when it comes to aviation policy choices.

Under his watch over half a dozen airlines have disappeared including Canada 3000, InterCanadien, and Canadian Airlines. Under his watch, Canada's airports have been gouged to the tune of $250 million annually in unjustified and unnecessary airport rents. Under his watch the Air Travelers Security Charge - aka: the flying tax - was implemented and decimated passenger volumes and further eroded the profitability of Canada's airports and airlines.

The Canadian Taxpayers Federation (CTF) opposes any form of direct taxpayer assistance to Air Canada or other airlines. Should Minister Collenette and the Cabinet seek to pilfer the public purse in such a reckless pursuit, the CTF will marshal a national backlash not seen since it led overwhelming public opposition to the NHL subsidy scheme the feds tried to implement in January 2000. Here's why -

Fact #1: Even before September 11, 2001, the global aviation industry was in trouble. Issues of excess capacity, unrealistic business growth forecasts, fare structures that were out of whack (read: too expensive) with consumer expectations and the surge of discount regional and national carriers worldwide that were capturing market share spoke to the reality of the global aviation marketplace.

This reality in large part continues today. In such an environment, trying to bail out an airline is akin to trying to negate and circumvent the laws of gravity - it is virtually impossible not to mention - pardon the pun - an out of this world proposition.

Fact #2: Air Canada, for the most part, has sown the seeds of its own destruction which is playing itself out on a weekly basis right now.

The decision to buy Canadian Airlines three years ago - under Ottawa's stringent conditions - in hindsight, was a mistake. It would have been better to let Canadian go under - as businesses do from time to time, think Eaton's - and pick up the routes, equipment and employees in the aftermath.