Bamboo toothbrushes and beeswax wraps. Temporary tattoos and hockey pucks. Maple candy and “chocolat bon bons.” Tractor-shaped air fresheners and Yukon soap. Moccasins and socks. 

The feds seem eager to slap a logo on just about anything and pay any price to make it happen. Federal departments and Crown corporations spent about $13 million on branded promotional items since January 2022, according to government records obtained by the Canadian Taxpayers Federation. 

“It’s like the government had a contest to see which department could come up with the dumbest way to spend taxpayers’ money and they all won,” said Franco Terrazzano, CTF Federal Director. “This is what happens when you have too many bureaucrats with too many tax dollars.”

The government shelled out $207,000 on various hats across all departments, $607,000 on different types of bags and $40,500 on Yeti and Stanley drinkware. 

In an apparent shout out to former prime minister Justin Trudeau, the feds collectively splurged on $51,800 worth of socks.

The feds spent $25,600 on maple syrup and maple products. 

The government released the data in response to an order paper question submitted by Conservative MP Michelle Rempel Garner (Calgary Nose Hill). Rempel Garner asked for records of all branded or promotional products purchased by departments or Crown corporations from Jan. 1, 2022, to June 6, 2025.

The CTF reviewed the 900-page release package – a virtual catalogue of capricious spending.

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police was the biggest spender by far, with a merch price tag of $4 million. However, the Mounties declined to submit a detailed inventory of expenditures.

Canadian Heritage was next in line for the feds’ spending spree. The department dropped about $2 million on purchases including branded hockey pucks, candle holders and lip balm. And not even the good kind of lip balm – it’s specifically “without sun protection.”

National Defence spent nearly $1.4 million on branded merch. That works out to about $34,000 on average each month.

Farm Credit Canada spent a total of $870,500, including $32,600 on tractor shaped air fresheners. 

Export Development Canada blew $4,100 on climate change card games, $3,400 on Yukon soap, $10,700 on apple peel notebooks with bamboo pens, $4,500 on branded apples and $1,100 on “chocolat bon bons.”

Destination Canada spent $26,900 on moccasins, $13,300 on candles and $9,000 on charcuterie boards. Natural Resources Canada spent $3,200 on phone wallets and $1,350 on temporary tattoos.  

VIA Rail spent $11,400 on “Pride” paraphernalia and $2,600 on belt bags. The Department of Immigration spent $12,000 on bamboo toothbrushes and terry towels for various “outreach events” and the Masters Indigenous Games.

The Royal Canadian Mint wrote a cheque for $41,800 for leather journals and laser pens. The National Capital Commission spent $12,000 on bicycle lights. Canada Lands Company spent $1,800 on flying saucers. 

Canadian Race Relations Foundation dropped $2,400 on wool-blend branded toques and $2,800 for branded fleece blankets – for a board meeting. 

The list goes on and on.

Prairies Economic Development Canada dipped into the public purse to the tune of $1,300 for bamboo cutlery and $3,800 for beeswax wraps. Pacific Economic Development Canada dropped $12,000 on beeswax wraps alone. 

But remember, it’s hard being a government bureaucrat. Across all departments, the feds bought $11,900 worth of stress balls. 

“Government bureaucrats dropping thousands of dollars on stress balls really stresses taxpayers out,” Terrazzano said. “Unless the temporary tattoos show the national debt to remind bureaucrats to cut spending, it’s a waste of money.

“Prime Minister Mark Carney needs to tell government bureaucrats to knock it off with the card games, charcuterie boards, laser pens and flying saucers.”

Some federal agencies refused to spill the beans on their branding budgets, leaving taxpayers to imagine a clandestine empire of logoed mugs and pens.

CBC/Radio-Canada did not bother to track their spending on promotional materials at all. The CBC claims it didn’t have time to provide accurate information in response to the request. 

The lack of transparency didn’t end there. The Canada Border Services Agency and the National Arts Centre also claimed they lacked the time and resources to submit expenditure details.

The Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation had “nothing to report.” Parks Canada dropped $847,000 on promotional items, but provided no details on itemized spending. 

The Canadian Security Intelligence Services confirmed it purchased promotional material, but declined to say what it bought or how much it spent – because, you know, it’s probably spy stuff. 

“Carney said he’s going to cut waste and if he’s serious he would put the government’s promotional merch spending spree on the chopping block,” Terrazzano said. “Anyone who claims there’s no fat to cut needs to be reminded that the government is spending millions of dollars on branded merch.”